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We see Manchester City have managed to flip Savinho for quite the profit. Football Daily had previously assumed this sort of wheeler-dealing was restricted to the Dion-Dublin-adjacent property market, or the Harry-Redknapp-infused used car scene, but it seems we were mistaken. We have no idea how City ended up trousering a £44.2m markup on a player who cost £30.8m two seasons ago, and has achieved the square root of eff all since, but they’ve done it. Consider standing stock still and allowing a ball to clank off you and into the net in an FA Cup tie at Newcastle analogous to installing a new bathroom suite and giving the front room a lick of paint, or taking a microfibre cloth and some polish to the crevices of that grimy dashboard. Result! Goal! Ker-ching! That’s 75 million-nil!

Re: the ‘hand of God’ ball’s sale (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). I understand Peter Shilton did, in fact, intend to bid but couldn’t get his hand up high enough” – John Myles.

As much as people dislike Chelsea (the football club that is, not the posh area of London, which is quite nice if a bit dull), Xabi Alonso’s wild experiment to attempt to score so many goals that it even offsets Robert Sánchez’s constant Keystone Cops-style performances in goal is going to be wonderfully exciting” – Noble Francis.

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